The Ring

Wedding Band

May 2003

Isaiah 11:3 NIV

"And he will delight in the fear of the Lord. He will not judge by what he sees with his eyes, or decide by what he hears with his ears;"

When I visit homes in Turkmenistan, I am now prepared to answer a question that at first caught me off guard.  Women would catch me alone and ask me when my husband died and how I was doing. I was puzzled  because my wedding band was clearly on my left hand fourth finger.

I explained my husband was alive and well and keeping the household going for me while I was teaching and traveling.

The first woman who asked this question seemed puzzled and indicated my left hand. I looked at her hands carefully and noticed her wedding band was on her right hand. She explained when her husband died, she would move her band to her left hand as a sign she was a widow.

Now I understood as I had traveled throughout the country, I was signaling to everyone I was a widow based on their cultural perceptions.

I had to explain we wore our bands on our left hands and my husband's health was fine, thank you.

There are times I jump to conclusions based on what I see and don't give the situation time to play out. My students are also quick to do that in the classroom when they receive assignments from me. They immediately form negative attitudes toward assignments they perceive as difficult and don't think about how the assignment can be broken down into pieces to be accomplished.

My goal is to be objective and not judgmental, but it seems like judging others is a human failing. I fight it. I need to remember to not base opinions only on what I see and hear, but to let the Lord’s spirit lead me to truth.

Ultimately, God is the one who is my judge, and thankfully, He is fair and unbiased.

Lord, thank you for taking my whole life into consideration when you judge me.