Make Haste, O God!

New Life

March 2011

Psalm 71:12 KJV
"O God, be not far from me: O my God, make haste for my help."

I stood beside my borrowed car, which was parked in the back of a bank's empty parking lot, facing a retaining wall as my ex-husband's van blocked me from behind so I couldn't escape.

I yelled at my four-year old son, who was crying hysterically in the locked car, "Russell, do not UNLOCK the doors!" While my ex-husband yelled at him, "Russell, UNLOCK those doors!"

During my darkest moments in life, God is with me. This was the afternoon I was certain I would die, but God gave me wisdom and mercy to avoid the disaster.

My detective had called me in Cincinnati the previous night to report on the psychological profile of my ex-husband. We had just chased him for over two months after he kidnapped my son, and tomorrow, Valentine's Day, I was scheduled to have the divorce and custody hearing in Madison County, Kentucky.

The detective terrified me with his report. He believed my ex was a violent man capable of horrendous acts.

Shortly after I hung up with him, I received a call from my lawyer in Richmond, Kentucky. He revealed he would drop my divorce and custody case tomorrow because he didn't think we could win since I lived in Georgia. He told me to come on down to Kentucky in the morning anyway just in case things changed.

On February 14th,1989, my parents took Russell to a safe place in Richmond while my ex-husband and I sat awkwardly next to each other outside the judge's chambers at the courthouse. By the time it was announced our case was dropped, my ex-husband glared at me and ran out of the room.

I met my parents and picked up Russell. I wanted to visit a friend who worked in a bank in downtown Richmond before I headed back to Cincinnati.

There had been severe storms all day, so few people were out driving. I parked against the retaining wall at the back of the bank without a second thought, took Russell by the hand, and began to cross the parking lot toward the front of the building, where the entrance was located.

As we walked across the deserted lot, my ex-husband drove by and spotted us. He pulled his van into the parking lot aiming it straight toward us.

I didn't have time to run with Russell to the bank. All I could do was run back to the car, throw him in there, and lock the doors.

The detective's terrifying personality profile, plus the knowledge he had guns in his van unnerved me. Another thought haunted me.  My detective had warned me if I lost Russell to him again, he would not help me find him.

I looked for an angel to rescue me. Not a single car drove by for me to flag down for help. 

He was out of the van now screaming at me to let him talk to Russell. He yelled at Russell to open the door. Russell was in tears.

I waited for the man I used to trust to get his guns out of the van, shoot me, and take Russell by force over my dead body.

Tensions finally eased, and I asked what he wanted. He sounded sane as he replied, "I know I can never provide the kind of life for him that you can in Georgia.  I just want the chance to hug and kiss him goodbye before he goes back with you."

Oh, the dilemma before me! Fear washed over me. I had to control many emotions: outrage, anger, the need for revenge.  However, I recalled the pain when Russell was ripped away from me and how much it hurt not to be able to hug and kiss him goodbye.  A part of my heart softened.

The softening was God. It wasn't Lori.  God entered my spirit and gave me help and wisdom to go against all the words of the detective and all the fears inside me. I opened the car doors. I let him hold and kiss Russell.

With that act, we all three calmed down and parted ways. Although no one was physically injured, the emotional scars of the afternoon still come to me in the form of occasional nightmares.

In my darkest places God has the opportunity to work His greatest miracles in my life. I discovered I did have the capability to forgive my ex-husband enough at that moment to let him say good-bye properly to Russell.

Through the years, as I have shared this story with others, many people think I was crazy to let him have a chance to run off again with Russell.

However, I might point out, when God gave him mercy through me, and allowed him to hold and kiss Russell, all the anger and rage in him abated, and the crisis was averted.

I had to trust God. This is an example of when I did let go and let God. I am not saying it was easy. It was one of the most difficult decisions I have ever made as an adult.

"O, God, be not far from me! O, God, make haste for my help!" 

Not a single car passed by us that afternoon while my personal tragedy unfolded in the parking lot. God hurried to my side and helped me make a decision that changed the course of evil for good.

He is faithful, loyal, true, and loving even when He asks us to make a choice that seems impossible at the time.
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Lord, be not far from those and hurry to the side of those who need you right now. Amen