Indiana Woods
April 2010
John 14:27 NIV
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
Fear.
Real or imagined fear paralyzes me. I have a friend who reminds me to live the words I write. Life is such a work in progress. I try so hard to live my words.
I think after the kidnapping and divorce, in 1988, when I emotionally broke down, I discovered how fragile I was. John helped heal so much of my emotional pain when I met him, and I leaned on God, too, but in the early 1990s, I still was weak in my walk with the Lord.
It wasn't until April 2, 2005, when John, Allison, and I were hit head-on in an automobile collision, that I faced a new level of fear. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and I became acquainted with each other.
Although I went to excellent psychologists, I couldn't even follow through with that process. I learned how to treat the symptoms of my fears when they overwhelmed me--drink more water, exercise, breathe DEEPLY, but I just didn't have it in me to talk to a psychologist.
I talked to trusted friends, and at a church retreat I gave many burdens I carried to the Lord. However, I still occasionally find when I am blindsided at work or home with unexpected stress, I melt down.
I mentally kick myself, and then the negative self-talk starts, but I try to pick myself up. "You just need to give it over to God, Lori! You've been in worse spots than this before!"
Even though I know Satan is behind the seed of fear planted in me, I have the hardest time on my own fighting him off, which is when I shoot off a quick email to those I know will pray for me.
I request prayers, and they help! I am a firm believer in the power of prayer.
I hope with time I will find a way to cope with fears. Eventually I want to just hand them over to God once I feel them overwhelming me. It's so much easier to give God my worries than to hoard them.
What did FDR say? "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself?" There is so much truth in his statement. I spend so much time being afraid of what I am afraid of, that when the moment arrives, it is anticlimactic compared to my fear of it.
I am a work in progress. I turn to God more and more each day. I need Him so much. I am trying to give Him all my fears, real and imagined.
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Thank you, Lord, for helping me get through frightening times in life.
I guess fear was on our minds yesterday in different forms.
ReplyDeleteSomeone told me once that FEAR is just False Expectations Appearing Real. I try to remember that.
I also try to remember that fear is from within us, but that God gives us strength and love not fear. As you say, fear is the seed of the Devil whispering to us.
Continued Blessings in your journey.
Dawn